Saturday, October 31, 2020

All the Halloween jokes you ever wanted to know



Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton accept a dare?
A: He didn’t have the guts!

Q: Where do skeletons get broken bones fixed?
A: The body shop.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room.

Q: What is a mummy’s favorite music?
A: Wrap music!

Q: Why don’t skeletons eat spicy food?
A: They don’t have the stomach for it.

Q: What are cemeteries so crowded?
A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: Why do ghosts like riding in elevators?
A: It raises their spirits.

Q: Why do mummies have no friends?
A: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!

Q: Why don’t spooks like rain on Halloween?
A: It dampens their spirits.

Q: What do you call Bambi’s ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!

Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!

Q: What happens to bad little Egyptian girls?
A: They become mummies!

Q: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.

Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.

Q: Why don’t mummies go on vacation?
A: Because they don’t like to unwind!

Q: Why did the mummy sleep so soundly?
A: Because he was dead tired.

Q: Where do girl ghosts go to buy nice things?
A: The boo-tique.

Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite food?
A: Spare ribs.

Q: Where is a skeleton's favorite house located?
A: On a dead-end street.

Q: Where is a ghost's favorite house located?
A: On a boolevard.

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