Canada to build border wall, ask Trump to pay for it

OTTAWA, CANADA, Nov. 9, 2016 -- Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced this morning that he will work closely with the Canadian parliament to rush building a wall along the country's border with the United States to halt the mass immigration to Canada of American leftists and celebrities fleeing after this week's election of Donald Trump as president of the United States.

Coming to a Canadian border near you

The prime minister, noting that Canada's immigration web site had crashed as American liberals panicked, said that action to stop the Americans' looming, illegal border crossings was urgently needed.

"We cannot accept large numbers of American, left-wing sore losers coming to Canada just because a former Democrat won their presidential election," Prime Minister Trudeau told a chapter meeting of retired Royal Canadian Mounted Police. "Anyone caught crossing into Canada without authority will be deported."

Loves American leftists, in America

"To that end," the prime minister continued, "I will go to Parliament tomorrow to ask funding to build a wall along the entire border of the United States and Canada, including with Alaska, to prevent mass, illegal immigration of angry mobs of Lefties from coming here.

"Yes, that distance is more than eight thousand, eight hundred kilometers and the wall will be fantastically expensive, but it must be done."

Asked how much money the project was expected to cost, the prime minister responded, "President-elect Trump campaigned that he would wall off Mexico, three thousand, one hundred kilometers, at a cost of ten billion dollars, so do that math yourself. Not cheap. But don't worry because I am going to get America to pay for the wall."

"How are you going to do that?" asked a reporter.

"I've got a plan," Prime Minister Trudeau replied. "It's a great plan, a fantastic plan, really. Best plan ever. Huge ideas about that, huge. You'll see."